“Don't gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold.” ~Bob Marley

Recently while vacationing with my family in Colorado, I wore thick gloves, and kept my hands in my pockets a lot.  Such is necessary when the temperature is two degrees below zero!  On one particularly snowy, blustery, cold day, I pulled off my gloves in the car, and noticed something was missing.  While everyone else in my family proudly wears an Aggie ring on their right hand, my ring finger usually bears something equally special to me – my mother’s ring. 

About twelve years ago, my family decided to get a mother’s ring for me for Mother’s Day, and they included me in that endeavor.  I remember how all five of us went to the jewelry store, and how Jeff and the kids helped me pick out the perfect ring.  We decided to make it a family ring instead of just a mother’s ring by including all five of our birthstones.  They also helped me place the stones – three sapphires for Jeff and the girls’ September birthdays, an aquamarine for my March birthday, and a single amethyst for Caleb’s February date.  I love that ring.  Not for the gold or the precious stones, but for what it represents – five people, knit together through blood and a lot of love.  Those three sapphires and the amethyst represent the people I love most in this world.  Wearing it helps me remember how greatly blessed I am to be the wife and mother – the aquamarine stone – in this family. 

But that day in Colorado, as I pulled my hand out of my pocket, I noticed that the sapphire on one end of the ring – Jeff’s stone – was gone.  One of the prongs had broken off.  The stone itself was very small, and I figured it was gone forever, but I decided it would be worth the effort to explore my pocket thoroughly anyway – and to my great surprise and joy, there in the bottom corner of my pocket, I felt the small bump of that precious stone.

When we returned home, I took my ring and the misplaced stone to our local jeweler to have it repaired.  And in the course of my conversation with the jeweler, she strongly recommended that I also allow them to replace the prongs of my engagement ring which hold a solitary diamond.  I have worn that ring every single day for the last 28 years, and the prongs were becoming quite fatigued.  To me, it was worth the extra money to have that ring repaired as well.  Again, not so much because of the precious stone, but for what that stone represents – Jeff’s proposal, my acceptance, and the 28 ensuing years of life with that very special man.

As passionate as I am about those rings which symbolize priceless relationships, I am even more passionate about the people they represent.  And in considering those thoughts, I couldn't help but be reminded of Luke 15 - the "lost" chapter.  In those parables - from the lost sheep, to the lost coin, to the lost son - Jesus impresses upon His audience how precious those lost ones are to the Shepherd, the woman, and the Father.  They will stop at nothing to find that which is lost - - hence, our Father will stop at nothing to have us in a right relationship with Him.  What a beautiful thought.  And shouldn't I feel the same way about the people I encounter every single day who are lost in sin?  We talked about that in our Ladies' Bible class a few weeks ago, and I need to do better.

For the week that my rings were being repaired by the jeweler, my fingers felt naked, as I missed the familiarity of seeing those representations of love and commitment on my hands.  But I am thankful for the reminder that it isn't about the emblems, but about the actual people.  And I am thankful for the realization that I need to be more concerned about finding lost souls, than I was about finding a lost sapphire.  Luke 19:10 tells us that "the Son of Man came to seek and save that which was lost."  As a child of the King, may I be more zealous to help Him in that endeavor.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." ~William James

On Wednesday evenings, our Bible study at Rice Road always concludes with everyone meeting in the auditorium for a few songs, and a brief message.  A few weeks ago was no different.  But during the singing that particular night, I teared up a little bit.  It wasn't the songs that moved me, although they were good songs that praised our God.  It was the young man who stood before us - leading us in that singing for his first time.

This young man is very dear to our family - I tell him he is our "other son".  He came into our lives several years ago, when his girlfriend at the time - a young lady who had become quite close to my girls - had moved to Florida to go to college.  At that time, we were temporarily meeting for worship in the Holiday Inn on Sundays while our church building was being remodeled, and this young man would show up there to worship with us, and he would sit with our family.  He was always very engaged with the worship, and his attention to the sermon as he listened intently and looked up passages was obvious.  It was evident that he had a good heart - one that was searching for truth.

We continued to get to know him, and offered to study the Bible with him.  He said he had studied with his girlfriend's father, and he knew what we would have to offer - he said he just needed to study on his own and figure things out for himself.  He did that, and one Wednesday evening after a service on a hot July evening, he rendered obedience to the gospel, being baptized into Christ for the remission of his sins.  Most everyone had gone home already that evening, but we were there, and blessed to be able to witness that new birth.

This young man - who is now married to the girl I referenced earlier - has continued to grow in Christ.  That scrawny, uncertain young fella who made his way into our assembly five or so years ago has been changed by the gospel, as he strives to grow into the image of Christ.  He taught his first adult Bible class several months ago, and has brought several Wednesday night devotional talks - including one just last week.  And the week before, he led singing for the first time.  And I was moved, and encouraged, as I considered his growth in the Lord.

Encouragement.  The act of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.  We all need that.  And I received that by the simple act of observing and considering a young man growing in his service to Christ.  I also receive that weekly as I observe the many other young folks we are blessed to have as a part of our church family - young couples, and singles, who are devoted in their service to God.  Young ladies, who come to my home on Thursday nights to study the Bible together - their zeal and passion, along with their hunger to grow, encourages me.  Young mothers who are diligently teaching their children.  And young men, who are stretching themselves to grow in their leadership.  Then there are the children - particularly those I am currently teaching in Bible class, who have a keen interest in learning about God.  There are also those who battle with temptations, and are willing to publicly share those struggles as they seek God's forgiveness.  Not to mention the older folks - those who live with disease and pain, who fight through that to encourage others, as well as those who are willing to share their wisdom to help the younger ones grow.  Each one has his or her own story.  And those life stories encourage me.

We often think of our service to God as something we do to honor God and to help ourselves.  We serve, and that helps us grow in our future service.  It also helps us grow closer to God, and makes us stronger in our faith.  And while all of that is true, our growth and service help others as well.  The Scriptures bear that out, as we are told in passages like Hebrews 10:23-25, "...And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

I am thankful that God in His wisdom provided us with a spiritual family to help us maneuver through this sin-sick world.  And I am blessed to be a part of one of the best.  It is Wednesday, and I am looking forward to gathering with that family this evening.  I know I will be encouraged.

"There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart." ~Washington Irving

"They will teach you more than you will ever even hope to teach them."  Those are words my father shared with me in reference to children the first time I told him I was pregnant.  I have thought about that often over the past 24 years.  He was so right.

Each one of our children has brought a unique personality to our family, and all three of them have taught me so much in their own individual ways.  They continue to do so.  But today, I am thinking mostly about our son.  Our only boy.  Our "baby."  He turns 22 today, and he continues to teach his mama.

As our kids were growing up, I kept journals where I wrote letters to them.  And this week I took time to read back through Caleb's journal.  On May 10, 1994, when Caleb was about 15 months old, I noted, "You have started folding your hands and bowing your head when we pray – that is so sweet, and I know it must make God smile!"  At that early age, Caleb made Jesus' words in Matthew 19:14 come alive to me - "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  Caleb's simplicity of faith, innocence, and humility - like all children - set an example of what I should be, both then and now.

On August 7, 1995, when Caleb was two, I wrote, "You are no trouble at all, except when you aggravate Rebecca.  You really know how to push her  buttons, and I get weary of the battles between you two!"  This continued to be a recurring theme throughout the next several years.  It was always those two fighting, with Sarah being the little peacemaker.  I remember worrying about how they would interact when they were grown - would they hate each other?  If you know them, you know nothing could be further from the truth.  Our kids - yes, even Becca and Caleb - love each other deeply, and enjoy spending time together.  Those early battles, and the ability they had to work through them, taught me powerful lessons in love and forgiveness.  People and relationships are important, and we need to be forgiving as we grow past harboring childish grudges.

Caleb has always had a vivid imagination.  I wrote last year about his imaginary grandfather, uncles, and brothers, and his imaginary grandma who was eaten by a camel.  But there was also this, which I recorded on September 8, 1997 - "I found out that you cried at preschool today.  I asked you why, and you gave me a long, elaborate story about how a little boy hit you, knocked you down and had to go to the principal’s office.  I told you that you don’t have a principal’s office, and you laughed and said you were just kidding.  You said the real reason you cried was because you lined up to get on the school bus and . . . I interrupted – you don’t have a school bus, I said.  When I asked again what REALLY happened, you said you couldn't remember."  While this may seem humorous, it also shows a heart that was willing and able to look on the bright side, and let go of the bad stuff - a good lesson for all of us.

Then, there are these excerpts:  April 13, 1998 - "Today you told your preschool teacher, 'You look beautiful - where did you get that dress?'";  March 17, 1999 - "You endear yourself to young and old alike." and May 15, 2000, in reference to his first grade teacher - "Mrs. Kennedy’s husband died a few weeks ago.  You were very upset by that and would cry as you prayed for her."  Caleb's attention to people, his passion to brighten the lives of others, and his ability to truly feel others' pain have given me a heightened sense to pay more attention to those qualities in my own life.

Likewise, Caleb has taught me how to have a right heart.  On several occasions throughout his young life, we had the unpleasant task of confronting him with wrong choices he made.  Every single time we did that with Caleb, we were met with a tender heart - one who didn't make excuses or try to justify, readily admitted his error, and sought to make the necessary changes to overcome those things.  During his teenage years, I wrote, "You always take 'no' very graciously and respectfully, you never argue."  This is the kind of heart we all must have to be pleasing to God.

And then there is Caleb's passion for life.  As early as October 4, 1994, when Caleb was a mere 20 months old, I wrote, "You enjoy life so much!"  That was a continuing theme throughout all of my letters to him, with entries such as:  "Last week you took your first airplane ride, and loved it – you live life to the fullest and fully enjoy everything you do!" ; "You have such a unique passion and enthusiasm for life," ; "You got a puppy for your birthday – she makes you laugh – you are so good at enjoying every moment of life, living it to the fullest, and appreciating all of the little things."  Other entries noted things like, "You enjoy leading the band in the roller coaster";  "At Saturday's UIL event, you somehow got the master key to the school and took some classmates on the roof..."  I can't tell you how many times Caleb has said, "This was the BEST DAY EVER!"  And he always means it.  Caleb has taught me to live more in the moment, and to find real, deep, belly-laughter kind joy in everything.

 It has been a year of growth for our boy.  From spending his summer in Costa Rica, to enduring emergency surgery last fall, he has handled each challenge in a true "Caleb" way - finding the best in every situation, loving the people in his life, serving His God to the best of his ability, always ready to make necessary correction when he gets off course, and thoroughly enjoying every moment.  (When he had his surgery, his recovery nurse who called me to tell me they were taking him to his room couldn't stop laughing.  She said, "He sure is entertaining!"  That's our boy.)

So, Happy Birthday, Bud, and thanks for all you continue to teach me.  How overwhelmingly blessed I am to be called "Mom" by you - I will never fully be able to express exactly what that means to me.  I am a better person because of you.  And I definitely take things a little less seriously, and laugh a whole lot more.  The very first letter I wrote to you on February 8, 1993 included these words: "My prayer and greatest desire for you is that you will grow up to be a godly, sensitive, caring and honest man like your father."  You have, and you are.  I thank God for you!

"The traditional family table is round. No corners. No sides. No head. No tail. Everything is smooth. The food is in the center, and each family member reaches over the same distance. Someone you love is next to you on each side, and no one is last or at the end. The person farthest away from you is also the person facing you." ~Deng Ming-Dao

It's always the plates that remind me.  Sometimes it's the glasses, but usually the plates.  Last night, I took three out of the cupboard, and then had to put one back.  I only needed two.  Earlier this week I had a similar problem - I would take four out, before remembering, and then I would have to return one to its home.

I first noticed this dinner-time dilemma in August 2009.  Back then, I would take five plates out, because since 1993 that is what I had consistently done - -  and then I would have to put two back.  Gradually, I became accustomed to setting a table for three.  Occasionally, I would joyfully take out five plates again, and smile when I didn't have to re-shelve two - I could set all five places at the table.  But it was always short-lived - - my plate count would soon go back to three.

In August 2011, it happened again.  As I set the table for our evening meal, I would instinctively pull three plates out before realizing that I only needed two.  I adjusted, and two plates became the norm.  And once again, it would delight me when I could pull out all five plates and set them on the table . . . but without fail, it always went back to two.

Holidays and summer time brought all five plates back out, and then in June 2013, that number grew by one - now it is six plates around our table that give me the greatest joy.  And for a week over this past Christmas break, every morning and evening I set those six plates at a table in Colorado with a thankful heart.  But, the week ended, and my plate count went back to four . . . and then three.  I am actually accustomed to three.  Becca has been home since August, so three has become "normal."  But now we are back to two.

From the time our children were old enough to eat at the table, we determined that we would eat dinner each evening all together, and as much as possible, breakfast as well.  Breakfast was usually quiet, but not dinner.  Our evening meals quickly became the focal point of our days.  Our kitchen table was where we shared - not only a meal, but the events of our days, our thoughts, our plans, our struggles, as well as jokes and laughter.  Lots of laughter.  There was no TV, no cell phones, and we even had a rule that the home phone went unanswered if it rang during those evening meals.  Our focus was solely on each other.

Personalities emerged early on - a young Sarah would often appear as I prepared the meal to help and to learn.  As we sat down to eat, Becca would usually ask, "Is anyone else cold?," and Caleb... well, if you know Caleb, you know that he always kept everyone laughing.  He still does.

Occasionally, we would be missing one or two, but those meal gatherings were important enough that we didn't miss many all together.  Sometimes that meant eating at 5:00 before someone had to leave to catch the band bus, or other times it meant putting it off until much later as we waited for someone to return from work or a school event.  But it was worth it.

A 2011 study by Cornell University showed that your child may be 35% less likely to engage in disordered eating, 24% more likely to eat healthier foods and 12% less likely to be overweight if you share in family meals on a regular basis.  The Journal of Adolescent Health did a similar study in 2012, adding that, "More frequent family dinners are related to fewer emotional and behavioral problems, greater emotional well-being, more trusting and helpful behaviors towards others and higher life satisfaction."   Why?  It's not about the meal - it's about the relationships at the table.

Two plates.  As I set those this evening, I admittedly will feel a little wistful.  I will be thinking about the two plates being set at a dinner table in Houston, while one each is set in College Station and Nacogdoches.  I will look forward to having all six of those plates back at our table sometime soon.  But more than the wistfulness, I will be thankful for several things...  Thankful for the two plates I set here, and the sharing that will occur between my husband and me; and thankful for relationships we sustain with the four other "plates," and the love that will bring them back again.

"Eating is so intimate... When you invite someone to sit at your table and you want to cook for them, you're inviting a person into your life."  ~Maya Angelou

"New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights." ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

For the past 18 years, New Year's Eve has been spent pretty much the same way - busily preparing for a party we host in our home every year.  Preparing food, organizing games, looking up trivia from the year, and decorating usually consumes all of my time on December 31.  All of that leaves little time for reflection on this particular date.  This year, however, is different.

Today, I am in Pagosa Springs, Colorado with my family.  And today, I am sitting out on the porch of our condo in the balmy 30 degree sunshine (for perspective, 30 in Pagosa Springs feels a lot like 50 does at home!), and enjoying this view . . .

And trust me when I say that the picture doesn't do it justice!

Today in the quietness and beauty of this place, I have had time for reflection.  I have taken time to read back through my posts from this year.  And from that, I would like to share a few of my thoughts with you on this last day of 2014...

This year began with a quote I found from Norman Wesley Brooks, who wrote: "Christmas is forever, not just for one day; for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.  The good you do for others is good you do yourself." I pondered about how great it would be to keep the attitudes of thankfulness and giving that permeate our lives during these holiday months, and extend them the whole year through.  A worthy goal for EVERY year, I believe!

As January progressed, I determined to be more connected to family and friends by writing more letters, and making more phone calls.  Phyllis Theroux wrote, "To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart," and I tried harder in 2014 to move my heart in many directions, re-connecting with lots of far-away friends, and also trying to be more involved in the lives of nearby friends.  That has turned out to be a real blessing to me.

In February, we lost a dear friend and sister in Christ - Chris Glover - to a sudden illness.  Her absence is still felt by all of us who knew and loved her, and we spoke of her just a few weeks ago when we did our annual Christmas Caroling - - we talked of how we missed going to her house this year.  But even now, almost a year later, Sister Glover's example lives on.  And when I think of her, I think of Psalm 116:15 - "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."  Precious, indeed, and the death of someone dear always gives us pause as we consider our own lives in light of eternity.

March brought an accident that once again brought home to me the uncertainty and brevity of life. Jeff - my careful, always safety conscious husband - slipped and fell into the swimming pool, fully clothed, iPhone in his pocket, ... and a plugged-in, electric hedge trimmer in his hand.  Thankfully, Jeff made it out of that pool with only a shock, but it made me tremble to consider what easily might have happened in that moment.  And all of the "little things" in life that seem so important did not matter at all that day.  

2014 was filled with both the planned, and the unexpected.  Caleb spent his summer in Costa Rica, Jeff traveled to China, and Jeff and I took a trip to Minnesota.  Sarah moved from teaching 2nd grade to 1st, and she had her wisdom teeth removed.  Caleb had emergency surgery, and Becca resigned her position at Children's Medical Center to go back to school for a Nursing degree.  This time last year, the only one of those things I was expecting was Caleb's Costa Rica trip.  

What that tells me is that life is uncertain.  So, as I close the book on 2014 and prepare my planner for 2015, I pray that I will be mindful of the things this year has taught me, which can best be summed up in what Paul wrote to the Romans in chapter 12:9-13 - "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality."  If I can do those things, 2015 will be a good year regardless of what unexpected bumps might appear in the road of life.  

So now, I will enjoy the remaining hours of 2014 with those I love most in this world - my family.  We will laugh, play games, sing some hymns, and talk about God's love and blessings.  And for those of you who have shared in my life this year, please know how special you are to me, and how thankful I am to God for the blessing of YOU.  May God richly bless each of you in 2015, and may we all find ourselves closer to Him in the coming year.

Pagosa Springs, Colorado - Sunday, December 28, 2014

"Why be saddled with this thing called life expectancy? Of what relevance to an individual is such a statistic? Am I to concern myself with an allotment of days I never had and was never promised? Must I check off each day of my life as if I am subtracting from this imaginary hoard? No, on the contrary, I will add each day of my life to my treasure of days lived. And with each day, my treasure will grow, not diminish."  ~Robert Brault

"Having a place to go — is a home. Having someone to love — is a family. Having both — is a blessing." ~Donna Hedges

I dropped the ball with my daily posts, but it isn't because I haven't been thankful!  Quite the opposite - I've been so busy focusing on the "little things" that I have not taken the time to write about them.

In the quiet of this early morning, our house is full of grown children and puppy dogs, all of whom are sleeping soundly.  And my heart is full and thankful.

We postponed our Thanksgiving celebration by one day this year.  Caleb worked the Texas A&M football game Thursday evening, and Sarah and Ryan were part of the 12th man there with Ryan's parents.  So that half of our family arrived yesterday morning, and the fun began...

Sadie got reacquainted with "Aunt Becca", and then we all sat down to a feast of our favorite Thanksgiving food...

There was much laughter as we filled our bellies...

After lunch, some of us napped while Sadie helped Ryan do some online Black Friday shopping...

And then Caleb scared the puppy dogs...

 Later in the day, we commenced with our usual tradition of putting up the Christmas tree...

When the kids were little, they loved getting inside the empty tree box, and "trapping" each other.  These days, they enjoy trapping their dogs in the box...

But Buster was smart and made a break for the kitchen.

Caleb proved to us that you are never too old or too tall to relive childhood memories, and Brinkley was satisfied that payback is sweet...

Our Eagle Scout put his skills to use, and built us a fire, with his dad looking on, and then the decorating began...

Among our ornaments is a one-legged Santa.  I'm not sure where he came from, or why he only has one leg, but every single year, hanging the one-legged Santa becomes the biggest point of contention among our kids.  This year, they decided to play "rock/paper/scissors" as a diplomatic way to decide who would get the honor...

 The first round began, and Becca eliminated her brother...

 Then during the final round, Caleb tried coaxing me into giving it to him while his sisters were battling it out.

 

Ultimately, Becca won, and she proudly hung the favorite family ornament this year.

























All of that may seem silly or trivial to those looking in from the outside.  But it is just a small glimpse into a tiny sliver of the vast storehouse of traditions and memories that make up the bonds of love shared by our family.

Erma Bombeck once wrote, “The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.”   Jeff, Sarah, Becca, Caleb, and now Ryan, compose my little band of characters.  Each one of us brings our own uniqueness and individuality to the group, and it just wouldn't be the same without the quirkiness of each one. Our little band will likely grow in the future, and we will gladly assimilate the new characters into the fabric of our family.  But today, I am thankful for these five - the people I love most in this world.

In a few minutes - or hours for a couple of us - the house will once again be bustling with activity, laughter, and some good-natured bickering.  And I will relish every moment.  Thankful doesn't even begin to cover it.

"To poke a wood fire is more solid enjoyment than almost anything else in the world." ~Charles Dudley Warner

This morning I commenced with my usual routine upon rising from bed - I turned on my Keurig to brew my morning cup of coffee.  As the water was heating, I took Buster outside.  It's been raining here, and I could smell it - you know, the unmistakable but indescribable scent of rain.  Throughout the night, I could hear the faint patter of raindrops on the roof - that hypnotic, comforting sound that induces sleep.

Simple pleasures.  A hot shower, the first sip of coffee in the morning, a good book, the smell of rain, the scent of freshly mowed grass, the warmth of the sun after a cold and cloudy day, chocolate, Sunday afternoon naps, Andy's frozen custard, writing with a good pen, an unexpected text message, puppy dog licks on the chin, laughter... The list could go on and on. (Did I mention Andy's frozen custard?)

They are different for each one of us.  The little things in life we experience daily that bring joy.  As I consider blessings I often take for granted, today I will focus on appreciating the simple pleasures more fully.  How do I do this?

In a 2012 study published in Psychological Science, researchers found that participants were more likely to rate a piece of chocolate as more pleasurable when they were told it was their “last one” rather than their “next one.”  This is because when we think something is going to be our last experience, we try to make the most out of it while we can, therefore we’re more motivated to savor it. We tend to want things to end on a happy note.  So imagine if we treated all of life's simple pleasures as if we are experiencing them for the last time - this attitude could help us savor them more. 

In order to do this, though, I will have to slow down.  We get so busy with so many things on our "to do" lists, and we have so much "noise" from constant input and activity, that taking the time to consciously savor the simple things takes effort.  But if I focus more on the "little things," I believe I will be encouraged by just how rich and full life can be, and will be overwhelmed by my blessings.

I think I'll go get that hot shower now.