Friday, September 29, 2017

"I am convinced there's a gramma gene that disables the word 'no.'" ~Lesley Stahl


Two years ago today, I embarked on a wonderful new journey - On September 29, 2015, I became a Mimi.  Lydia Grace Renz gave me that blessing and privilege.  (Well, actually her parents did, but you know what I mean.)  Before that date, as we anticipated Lydia's arrival, everyone told me "nothing compares," and being a grandmother is "indescribable," and "better than anything else you've ever experienced."  I have found all of that to be true.  And more.  The English language simply does not contain words to adequately describe this wonderful role.

Sue Monk Kidd said it well when she wrote, "Grandmotherhood initiated me into a world of play, where all things became fresh, alive, and honest again through my grandchildren's eyes. Mostly, it retaught me love.” From those early days of cuddling and rocking to the current state of constant toddler motion and play, I find that Mimi is a part of myself who I've never really known before.  I have a patience with Lydia that I did not have with my own children.  And even though I know discipline is vital, important and necessary, it hurts me to my core to witness that precious little girl getting in trouble!  Sometimes I have thought to myself, "Who am I?!?"  Mimi is certainly NOT Mama.  Lydia (and now Henry) have the BEST Mama I've ever known - she possesses a maturity and level of patience that I did not have at the same age.  I'm thankful she does her job so well, and I'm also thankful that I get to be the Mimi instead of the Mama this time around.

Mimi gets to play and teach and love without the responsibility that comes with parenting.  When a stubborn little toddler is told by her parents that she has to eat at least one bite of her chicken before she can have any fruit, Mimi will go to whatever lengths necessary to coax her into eating that bite of chicken - even setting up a "picnic" in the middle of the dining room floor long after the chicken is cold, all other dishes have been cleared from the table, and everyone else has left the dining room.  When that happened, I caught myself laughing and thinking, "I NEVER would have done this with my own children."  THAT is the beauty of being the Mimi.

I watch this little one in awe, seeing glimpses of her mother at that age emerge in her personality and mannerisms which take me back to another very sweet time in my life as a new mommy; while also seeing a very unique individual learning and growing as she navigates her little life.  I think that is a big part of the wonder of being a Mimi - the fact that I had the unique perspective and privilege of having raised the one who is now raising her...

And now, him...

 Henry Travis Renz, my first grandson.  Over the past month, I have been blessed to experience all of the joy and wonder and overflowing, indescribable love that came the first time two years ago.  I found myself sitting and just staring at him - nothing was lessened by the fact that I had done this once before.  I love him with the same passion and fervor that I love his sister.  Just when I think my heart can't possibly hold any more, it does.

Last week, after spending three glorious weeks of playing and cuddling, I rose early in their Nashville home before any of the little ones, and Ryan drove me to the airport in the pre-dawn darkness.  As I walked through security I noticed the time, and wondered if Lydia was waking up and calling in her sweet little voice for Mimi to come get her out of bed.  And when I waited for my connecting flight from DFW to Tyler, I wondered how lunch was going back in Nashville - was Henry content to be in his rock-n-play while his mama and sister ate lunch?  I missed being there and foregoing my own lunch to pick him up for a snuggle if he was fussy.  Then, as my flight landed in Tyler I noticed the time again, knowing that Lydia was now going down for her afternoon nap - - if I was still in Nashville I would be spending the next few hours rocking and snuggling that precious new baby boy.  Anne Tyler said it best when she wrote, "She loved them so much that she felt a kind of hollowness on the inner surface of her arms whenever she looked at them- an ache of longing to pull them close and hold them tight against her.”  That ache is there even when I can't look at them.  Especially then.

Lesley Stahl wrote, “In various surveys, nearly three-quarters of grandparents say that being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life. Most say being with their grandkids is more important to them than traveling or having financial security.” It's only been a week, but this Mimi already can't wait to see those two precious little ones again.  And given the opportunity to travel anywhere in the world, Spring Hill, Tennessee will always be my first choice as long as Lydia and Henry are there.

So, Happy, Happy Birthday, sweet Lydia!  You are the smartest, sweetest, and funniest two-year-old ever!  I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you again!  Until then, I will enjoy every single picture and FaceTime call to the fullest, thankful beyond words that I am uniquely blessed to be called Mimi by you and your precious little brother.  Blessed beyond measure for sure.
                
“This is what I didn't expect. I was at a time in my life where I assumed I had already had my best day, my tallest high. But now I was overwhelmed with euphoria. Why was this hitting with such a force? What explains this enormous joy, this grandmother elation that is a new kind of love? ... All I knew for sure was that I was in unknown territory.”  ~Lesley Stahl


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