Jeff S. and Becca are both still sleeping, and I'm alone. This will perhaps be the last time I can say that this year.
Caleb arrives today, Jeff O. will be here Sunday, and our Renz family will be here next week. There will be laughter, loudness, lots of eating, sharing, playing, and no doubt some strife over games that usually becomes quite intense in this family. There will be early mornings of playing with Lydia, who will no doubt be sporting some wild hair and sucking fiercely on her paci in the predawn hours. Ryan will be teased about his Smoky Mountain t-shirt, which he will likely bring with him. Sarah will be ready for bed early each night, and Becca will be asking, "Is anyone else cold?" Jeff O. will be continuing to learn how this family functions, as he assimilates himself into the Stewart culture, and Caleb will . . . well, he'll be Caleb! Jeff S. will smoke a turkey, and we will have our traditional "Santa morning," even though it may be a few days later than usual, and probably in the afternoon instead of the morning this year. It will be loud and messy, fun and memorable, and it will be us. Nothing is more special to me than us.
This time of year is a time for looking back. We all do it. We remember the previous 12 months that we've flipped on our calendars, and although every year is different, they are also very much the same. This year brought sickness, surgeries, death, frustrations and distance from loved ones. But it also brought fun, joy, trips, reconnection with dear friends and family, graduations, growth, celebrations, and next week will culminate the year for us with a wedding as we officially welcome another Jeff into our tight-knit family.
As I look back on this year, one thing overwhelmingly stands out - thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all of the blessings God has showered on me and my precious ones this year - they truly are too numerous to list. And I'm even thankful for the difficult times because they serve a purpose as well. I'm most thankful for the ones currently sleeping under this roof, and for those who will soon arrive back "home" and the ensuing chaos that will bring. I'm thankful for God's care that got us to this point, and for the love my kids have for each other. I'm especially thankful for the fact that these children of mine - who continue to grow in number - are also my brothers and sisters in Christ. That fact only enriches our already close bonds even more.
The next time I'm home alone I will have a new set of memories to add to my precious store, as well as a new son-in-law. I know from previous experience that when the last suitcase has been loaded and the last child leaves, it will be quiet again - a little too much so. I will feel the melancholy that comes with the end of such a gathering, as I wash sheets and towels, vacuum up dog hair, and wipe little handprints off the windows. But I will be thankful, and look forward to the coming year with all it will bring. There's sure to be more difficulties, sickness, death, frustrations, and distance. But there's also certainly to be fun, joy, laughter, reconnection, growth, and gatherings of my most precious ones.
Life. Good and bad, happy and sad, joyous and difficult. Such a blessing.
"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." ~Erich Fromm
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