I remember the concern I had for her back then - our emotional child. She was the one who was difficult to comfort in her infancy, and as she reached toddlerhood and preschool days, she cried - a LOT. I remember having conversations with Jeff where I wondered out loud why she was so "unhappy." Was I being a bad mother? Why did every little thing make her melt into a sea of tears? In fact, I was so desperate, I made a "Happy Chart." If she made it all day without crying, she got a sticker. And so many stickers resulted in a reward. Probably not the best parenting decision, but like I said, I was desperate!
Back in those days, I was scared to death of what adolescence would bring. I mean, if she was this emotional NOW, what would happen when puberty and hormones struck? I heard horror stories from other moms that only fed my concern.
But guess what happened instead? Becca grew. And I did a lot of praying. And as time passed, our little emotional Becca grew into a more mature emotional Becca. By that, I mean she still is easily moved to tears. But now, her tears are not the selfish tantrum rants of childhood. Instead, she feels the pain of others, and that moves her to help. She loves deeply. And she thoughtfully appreciates the important moments of life. I know her upcoming wedding day will be filled with tears. (She's already warned her make-up lady to use only waterproof makeup!). But I would not trade my loving, caring, thoughtful, emotional Becca for anything.
Our other two children came with different personalities, but they also caused concern for their mom. Sarah was our "five year old with a forty year old mind." She thought deep thoughts, and sometimes seemed to carry the burden of the world on her tiny shoulders. I worried that she would not be able to enjoy life because she took everything so seriously. She was always my "helper," and from a very early age, she would give up what she wanted for someone else - usually one of her siblings. Our little Sarah, who was always putting others first, caused me to be concerned at times that her giving spirit might later cause her to be resentful. But now, that serious-minded precious soul is a wonderful wife and mommy, who has fun playing with her baby girl - all the while, teaching her the important things of life -- loving God, serving Him, and loving others. Our serious-minded, selfless Sarah uses that wonderful quality to anticipate needs and offer an "others first", disciplined service to her family and others. I love that about her. And at times, I catch glimpses of that little five-year-old Sarah - the one who, when told of the death of a dear older friend to cancer, simply stated, "Oh! He's gone to be with God!" Our little, thoughtful, reflective Sarah of the past is still the same basic package - with maturity.
Then there's Caleb. Our Mr. Never-Meets-A-Stranger boy. His outgoing personality often displayed itself as a little boy with talking to strangers, and always seeing only the best in people. And while that's a good quality in a grown-up, it can be scary for a mom who has a naive child with that mindset. Caleb would've gone anywhere with anyone at any time. And while I worried a lot about his safety as a child, and people with less than honorable motives taking advantage of his carefree spirit, now I am so proud of that "people person" quality my boy possesses. It has led him to reach out to those who are lonely, as well as those who are less fortunate. Caleb loves people - actively, openly, and loudly. And as a result, people love Caleb. That is a quality his introverted mother watches with awe and maybe even a little bit of envy! And as I see him going to Guatemala to help people, or just reaching out to someone who is lonely, I sometimes see that little boy - the one who handed out scribbled "notes" to widows at church before he could write. And I realize he's the same person - just a grown-up version.
Lately, I've had several young mothers express concern to me about their little ones. I've heard questions like, "Why is little Johnny so stubborn?" or "Why does Suzy argue about everything?". And I want to tell those mothers, it will be ok! Those personality traits can be developed with maturity to make your children great leaders! But what is a mom to do while in the middle of the frustrations of parenthood? Pray -- WITH them and FOR them. And pray for yourself, for wisdom! Work with your children on developing their inherent personality traits for their good. Teach them to use their talents for God. Be consistent and loving in your discipline.
Isn't that what God does with us? Look at Peter - that impetuous apostle who walked on water (and then sank), who boldly defended his Lord by cutting off the ear of Malchus (only to be rebuked by his Master), who hung around outside during the trial (only to deny His King), and who, although outrun by John to the empty tomb, did not hesitate to be the first inside. This same Peter later wrote First and Second Peter. Read those letters. Notice the strength and faith of this man who wrote, "... if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but is to glorify God in this name." Although we do not have an inspired record of how he died, historical writings say he was crucified head-down because he did not consider himself worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord. Peter grew. And he was able to use his impetuous passion in a more disciplined way, doing great things for God.
So whether you're a parent in the throes of dealing with the problems of childish immaturity, or you are sometimes frustrated with yourself and your own lack of discipline, be encouraged. Isaiah 64:8 states, "But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand." Pray for God to give you wisdom to mold your children for Him. And likewise, we all should be praying for ourselves to always be moldable in His capable hands.
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