“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.” ~Mikko Harvey

 "Love you, sister! Thanks for coming!" Those were the last words she said to me as we hugged and Jeff and I hurriedly departed from her grandson's wedding on the last day of September. We had a long drive home, and we left before the bride and groom. I now wish we'd stayed just a little bit longer.

Luann was my sister-in-law - Jeff's older sister by less than two years. I first met her after we got engaged in the summer of 1987. Jeff took me to Austin to meet his family and see his roots. At that time, Luann was in her mid-20's, busy with two little ones. She made me feel welcomed from the start, and her bubbly, outgoing personality quickly drew me in. 

At our wedding, Jeff and I were pronounced "husband and wife" by Luann's husband, Dave, and as we walked back up the aisle and entered the foyer of our wedding venue, there was Luann quieting her one-year-old daughter, Katie. She quickly approached, hugged me before hugging her brother, and said, "Welcome to the family!" 

Do you notice the recurring theme of hugging? Luann gave the best hugs - the full-frontal, grab-with- both-arms, tuck you in kind of hugs, like you were being gathered in close on purpose. 

Luann's life was not without challenges. In her 20's she suffered kidney failure while pregnant with her 3rd child. She lost that baby while I was pregnant with twins. I remember driving to Austin to visit her in the hospital and the trepidation I felt about entering her hospital room with my prominent pregnant belly when she was grieving such a tremendous loss. As usual, Luann immediately put me at ease, expressing both concern and excitement over her twin nieces to come. If she could've hopped up out of the hospital bed and given me a hug, that's exactly what she would've done.  She would have a kidney transplant a few months later, and lived each day after that with the recognition that life here is a blessing from God - she lived hers to the fullest.

The day before Luann's transplant surgery, enjoying her twin nieces

Luann loved the Lord, and she loved her family. In recent years when we spent time together, our conversations were always about our children and grandchildren. She loved each one of hers fiercely. But her love didn't stop there - she loved her extended family with the same ferocity. Through the years she made an effort to be involved with my children, making sure she attended all three weddings - not an easy task due to the distance she and Dave had to travel for each one. She was excited that Caleb was settling in Lubbock, knowing that she and Dave would soon be relocating to West Texas. 

They did relocate to Merkel near Abilene, and she loved it there. When Truman was born, she told me she would come to Lubbock and visit while I was there, but with the move and settling in, it just didn't happen. I now wish it had. And on the other side of that, Jeff and I talked about Dave and Luann when we drove home from Lubbock after Truman's birth and saw the sign for Merkel... but we had just driven through a horrendous dust storm that slowed us down significantly, and we needed to get home. I now wish we had stopped. 

Luann suddenly and unexpectedly left this world for her eternal home yesterday morning. She leaves behind many who loved her deeply, including me. As I learned of her passing and thought about my last few visits with her, I couldn't help but think about some of the things I've expressed here - I wish I had stayed a little longer. 

The reality is we all do that - hurry through life, give a quick hug, turn and leave, thinking all the while, "We'll stop next time," or "We'll stay longer when..." Facing her own mortality at a very young age, I think Luann understood that better than most, and lived her life with a James 4:14 view... "you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." That's why she gave the best hugs. I'm thankful for her influence in my life, and I was so blessed to be loved by her. As I move forward in life without the best sister-in-law, I will try to hug a little more like she did, stay a little longer, send the text message, make the phone call, and stop for the visit.  And each time I do, I will remember her.