“It was nice to have someone cheering wholeheartedly for him the way that only a sibling could.” ~Jenelle Leanne Schmidt

Siblings. The word means brother and/or sister, and comes from the root word "sibb," meaning "kinship, love, friendship, peace, happiness; blood relation, one's own." The first one we read about in the Bible didn't go so well. Overtaken with jealousy, Cain killed his brother Abel. Other sibling groups to follow had their own share of trouble - Jacob and Esau experienced conflict even in the womb they shared, and for much of their lives they were estranged. Moses, Aaron and Miriam encountered their own discord as they worked together to lead God's people (Numbers 15).  This teaches us that loving sibling relationships are not a given - they take work and attention.

The sibling relationship is usually the longest-lasting relationship we have in this life. Siblings grow up together in the same home, becoming each other's first friends. From our siblings, we learn how to share, handle conflict, and how to be adaptable. As Tilicia Haridat wrote, “Why are your siblings so important to you? Because I came into this world a sibling, they were my first friends, the first persons I fought with, the first persons who taught me forgiveness, the ones who activated my protective instincts, the first persons to love me unconditionally apart from my parents. They are also the most cherished gifts that my parents gave to me.”

As a teen, I distinctly remember watching a family in our church who had two daughters and a son. These three siblings genuinely enjoyed being together, and their love and loyalty was evident to all who knew them. That's what I wanted for my future family.

Ironically, God blessed me with the same grouping of children - two daughters and a son. From their earliest days, I prayed that they would always be each other's best friends. As they grew, I often reminded them that friends would come and go in life, but siblings are forever. I would tell them that their siblings would be the ones who would stand by them as they took marriage vows, show up to meet their new children as proud aunts/uncle, and be there with them someday when they bury their parents.

 I watched with angst at times when they were little and experienced the struggles that all children face in learning the hard life lessons of how to navigate relationships. But as they grew, I loved what developed. Our three genuinely enjoyed spending time together. Each of them, with their distinct personalities, melded together into "the Stewart kids" where they found their places - Sarah as the little mother/peacekeeper/collective conscience (I'm sure I don't know the full extent of how she kept them out of trouble); Becca as the cheerleader/empath/champion- of-the-underdog; and Caleb as the clown/comic relief/defender.

 One of the things I tried to stress to them as they left home to attend college was the importance of keeping their relationships with one another a priority outside of the relationships each of them share with their dad and me. "Call your brother," I would say to one of the girls when they would ask me something about Caleb's life while they were away at Texas A&M. I never wanted to be their information go-between. They took that to heart. It's been 15 years since they all lived together every day under our roof, and now they are all physically separated by many miles. In spite of that, I often learn about conversations they have had and travel plans they have made to visit one another. Nothing gives me more joy. 

A few months ago our family gathered in Branson, Missouri for a much-anticipated family vacation. While much of our attention was focused on the six precious grandchildren in our family, one of my favorite things was to sit back and watch our six adult children interact with one another. (Yes, six - Ryan, Jeff, and Julie have melded quite nicely into the original group!) I watched them love on each other's children, go out together to get donuts while the kids took naps, work together to clean up the kitchen, play games together, study God's Word together, and just enjoy being with one another. It's a wonderful bonus that they are spiritual brothers and sisters as well, but that's a blog post for another day.

I witnessed the same thing again a few weeks after our family vacation when we all gathered in Brenham for a wedding. After getting back to the house weary from a day of travel and a wedding celebration that went way past most of our bedtimes, the Stewart child who has always been the first to bed chose to hang out in the living room waiting for her siblings to join her so they could have some time to visit. She let that be known the next morning because no one else showed up! 

Someday the family dynamic will change. As time passes, their dad and I eventually will, too. I pray those relationships that began so long ago in a house in Carrollton, Texas will continue long after. Other than their salvation, there's nothing I desire more.