"Connecting with someone is not necessarily a bond with a significant other, or even a friend, but can be the indefinable - perhaps the rarest and most precious thing in life to find at all." ~Donna Lynn Hope

 

Monday began as a normal day for me - I had my list of things that I needed to do this week, appointments to be kept, and mundane chores to accomplish. But after a few text messages and phone calls from Sarah, I canceled those appointments and booked the earliest flight I could get on to Nashville. 

The first text message Sarah sent indicated that Ryan's mother, Cheri, was ill and needed prayers. Within a few hours, though, it became apparent that she would not survive her sudden illness. Ryan jumped on a flight to Houston to be with her as she passed, and everything kicked into high gear. 

In my hurried moments of trying to get to Nashville as quickly as possible to be with Sarah and the kids and drive them back to Texas, I had little time to fully process what was happening. I boarded my flight at DFW shortly before 7 pm, and as I checked my text messages one last time before take-off, I received a note that Cheri had passed peacefully with her family at her side. I turned off my phone and had two hours in the air to think about the events of the previous twelve hours.

I first met Cheri at one of Sarah's bridal showers. I remember as she approached me that day, I walked over to greet her, and she quickly enfolded me in a warm embrace, saying, "I'm a hugger!" From that day on, she would frequently tell me how much they loved "their Sarah," and how happy they were to have her as part of their family. I shared that feeling back toward her son. There is just something special about a lady who will envelop your child into her family, along with the fact that the son she raised to love the Lord has also become a part of ours.

Then came grandbabies. When Lydia was born, we were able to be at the hospital together -- Cheri, the seasoned, experienced veteran Grammie, and me, the newbie, rookie, first-time Mimi. There was something special about sharing that moment with her - admiring together the first child born to her son and my daughter. We were able to do the same a few years later when Henry was born. In fact, at that time, two-year-old Lydia had her best day ever as Grandpa & Grammie along with Pappy & Mimi kept her entertained for the day! 

When Owen was born, Dale and Cheri were out of the country. But the morning of his birth, I received a text message from Cheri that I still have on my phone. She asked me to keep her posted and send pictures - she ended it with, "I hate that our travel plans got in the way but I'm so glad you are there!" That was Cheri.

We texted each other frequently over the past eight years, but especially in the years since we became grandmothers to the same grandchildren. If Cheri was in Nashville visiting, she would send me a picture or two, and I would try to do the same - but she was better at remembering to do that than I was.

Cheri loved all nine of her grandchildren with a passion. If you knew her, you know what I mean. And her grandchildren loved her back. Lydia often told me about fun things she did with Grammie, and if they were leaving our house to go to Houston, Lydia was always excited in anticipation of being with Grammie. I can't really explain what it's like to be a grandmother and know that there is another woman in this world who loves MY grandchildren exactly like I do, because she is their grandmother, too. I never really thought about that until Monday...

When I arrived at Sarah & Ryan's house after 10 pm Monday night, Sarah had told the children what had happened that day. Lydia was still awake, and Sarah said that she and Henry wanted me to sleep in their room. And as I bunked with them Monday night, listened to their sweet snores and sighs, I felt the weight of Cheri's loss, and my heart broke for Lydia, Henry, Owen, and the new baby who will arrive next month. I'm thankful for the memories that Lydia will have of her Grammie, and I hope Henry will remember her as well. But I grieve for Owen's and the new baby's loss at such a young age, and for all of the future events that will happen in the lives of all of Cheri's grandchildren where she will be so greatly missed. 

I never knew Cheri as anything other than my counterpart as a mother, and especially as a grandmother. And as I laid in Lydia's and Henry's room Monday night, I felt an odd weight and loneliness in knowing she was gone. No matter how good of a Mimi I am, I can never be Grammie. No one can. I wouldn't even attempt to try. Instead, I will speak of her often, and as long as I live, I will remind our four common grandchildren of how special she was, and how blessed they were to call Cheri Renz their Grammie. I will also be sure they live with the great hope that because of Jesus, they will see her again one day.

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus." ~1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

"And I heard a voice from heaven saying, 'Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.' 'Blessed indeed,' says the Spirit, 'that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them!'" ~Revelation 14:13