"Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." ~C.S. Lewis

Birthdays seem to come and go, and in some ways, they can run together when you've had a lot of them. At least that's the case for me. But some stand out - those "milestones" we hear about - and 30 is certainly one of those. I can remember how turning 30 was a pivotal time in my life- I had twin five-year-old girls and a just-turned-three-year-old boy who all kept me very busy. We were in the process of moving to a different state - in fact, we moved the week after I turned 30. I remember how it felt strange to say "I'm 30-years-old." And like C.S. Lewis' quote in the title above, it seemed that turning 30 indicated I was an adult, which meant I should have life figured out, right?! But in so many ways I still felt like I didn't really have it all together like "30" said I should!  

     

Fast forward 24 years, and today, two of the best young women I know turn 30. Thirty years ago today, I was looking at twin girls, born four weeks early. They were small but healthy. They made me a mom and changed my whole identity. Of the mother/daughter relationship, Adrienne Rich wrote, "Probably there is nothing in human nature more resonant with charges than the flow of energy between two biologically alike bodies, one of which has lain in amniotic bliss inside the other, one of which has labored to give birth to the other. The materials are here for the deepest mutuality and the most painful estrangement." I'm blessed not only to feel that deep mutuality without any hint of estrangement, but to also have that doubled. 

My girls are the best. Since their conception, I've been overwhelmed by both the immense blessing and colossal responsibility that is mine to be THEIR mom. They came to us with very different personalities, distinct strengths and weaknesses, and unique talents. Jeff and I often talk about how that even though they are grown, married mothers now, they are both still the same basic packages they were as little ones - those same fundamental personalities they displayed as infants continue to this day. 

And today, they are 30.

I have watched my girls throughout their lives with a strong sense of pride and gratitude. I've had the privilege of observing their growth in every way, having a front-row seat for all of the big events in their lives - both happy and sad. I've cheered each of them on as they've accomplished great things, and I've cried with them during difficulties. I've been filled with anxiety now on four separate occasions as they have birthed their own babies - there is something gut-wrenching in knowing that your child is going through that long, painful process of giving birth and becoming a mother herself.

A few weeks ago, we were blessed to spend a week together as a family. And although I've watched my girls in the past as they have lovingly mothered their own babies, I was able during our vacation week to witness them love on each other's babies. These women who are each striving every day to live godly lives while teaching and training their little ones to do the same have a bond with each other beyond explanation. Not only as twin sisters but now as mothers together. While Aunt Sarah's primary responsibility is to Lydia, Henry, and Owen, she took the time to love on her nephew, Noah. Likewise, Aunt B was mostly busy with Noah, but she also found time to snuggle Owen and play with Lydia and Henry. Their love for one another's children is palpable. I love that.  

  

Happy Birthday, girls! What an honor and privilege it is to be YOUR mom. I love each of you uniquely and fiercely. I love the passion you both have for God. I smile when I see you opening His Word in the early morning or late afternoon hours for some quiet time with our Lord while your babies sleep. I'm proud of the wives and mothers you both are, and the way you both selflessly serve your families and friends. I also am touched deeply by your love for each other and for your brother - I love watching the three of you together, the way you always have each others' backs, knowing that those profound relationships you have with one other will last long after I am gone from this life. I also love how unique you both are - sisters, twins, yes; but uniquely Sarah and uniquely Rebecca. (I have never liked it when people refer to you as "the twins.") And I am so very thankful for both of you and the differences you possess. The only thing better than having you both as daughters is knowing that my grandchildren have you as mothers. You are both miles ahead of where your mother was at 30 in your faith, patience, and mothering skills. I'm sure that the inadequacies I possessed and mistakes I made in my 30's as your mother have served to strengthen you in your resolve to be and do better - and you both are. 

Haley Elizabeth Garwood wrote, "The weaving of life between mother and daughter is just like the making of a basket. As time goes by, the interlacing takes shape and becomes stronger." I love how we are interlaced, and how now at 30-years-old, you are each not only my daughters but also two of my closest friends. Thirty-year-old women, shining your lights and loving your families in your little corners of the world. Strong, godly women, but still my babies. Forever our little Princess and Sweet Pea. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always; As long as I'm living my bab(ies) you'll be." Even when you're 30 and beyond. 

“A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self." ~Victoria Secunda