"To the outside world, we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega

Our kids were all home for Memorial Day weekend, and I'm smart enough to know it's not just their parents or Mom's cooking that drew them here.  A big part of "us" is their relationship with each other.  Prior to that weekend, all three asked me, "When is everyone getting there?"  They couldn't wait to see each other.

In an article entitled "The Secret World of Siblings" published in the January 10, 1994 edition of U.S. News & World Report, Erica E. Goode wrote, "Sibling relationships — and 80 percent of Americans have at least one — outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would sink any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness and distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust."

The sibling relationship is unique.  These three that began life in our home not only share common DNA, but they also share a common perspective.  They grew up together, and two of them even grew inside of me together.  From their earliest days - and childish conflicts - I made it a point to stress to them the unique nature of their relationships with one another.  I wanted them to grow up as best friends, and to maintain that closeness as adults.  I remember telling them that childhood friendships would come and go, but sisters and brothers were forever.  I would remind them that it would be their siblings who would be there when they got married, and those same people would be there when they had their babies.  And someday it will be the same three who will share the common experience and grief of burying their parents.  Now that they're grown, I love seeing the love they have for one another.

Yes, they have fun, and when they come together in our home, the walls reverberate with their laughter.  Certain things are assured when they're together - like the teasing Becca will get about how she's always cold, and how the girls will laugh hysterically at anything their brother does - along with rolling their eyes at times.  And we won't even talk about family games . . . All of that is loud, and boisterous, and fun, and all of that makes this mama smile.

But what I love even more than their jovial times together is the way they are fiercely protective of one another, and especially how they are touched by the events in the lives of each other.  Like the tears that flowed between a brother and sister during a private moment at Sarah's wedding - a moment that was captured by the photographer who later told me, "Your kids really love each other!"  Or the loving embrace between sisters when they first saw one another following Becca's engagement, when I could literally feel the bond that was there.  I have many other such moments in my memory, but these are two that are forever captured on film.  When I witness these moments - with or without a camera - they are always noticed, and nothing touches my heart more.

Now one of those three is about to move out of state with her own family, which will mean a greater geographical separation than they've ever experienced long term.  As family and friends have learned about the impending move, I've heard a lot about how difficult it will be for Jeff and me to have our grandbaby living so far away; and how it will be an exciting time for Sarah's family, but it will also be a time of adjustment for them.  While all of that is true, one of the things I haven't really heard anyone address is that strong sibling bond.  Perhaps that in itself is a sad commentary on the state of many sibling relationships today.  But I know my kids, and as happy as they all are for the new adventure for Sarah's family, this will not be an easy transition for any of them.

While that may appear to be sad, to me it's not.  To be honest, nothing brings me more joy!  That shared sorrow our three children have at the distant relocation of one of them, only speaks to the strength of their bonds with one another.  If they weren't close, they wouldn't care.  What a blessing.  A blessing for each of them, but also a very satisfying blessing for me as their mother.  I love how they love each other.  And I know that whether they all three live next door to each other, or end up on opposite sides of the country, that bond is unbreakable.

So when our next family gathering is planned and on the calendar, and each of them begins to ask, "When is everyone getting there?," I will smile, and thank God for the bond that brings them together - a unique bond borne of common parentage and upbringing, and solidified by the shared life goals they each have in Christ as children of God - a bond that will truly last forever.

“Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite often the hard way.”  ~Pamela Dugdale