"...And she loved a little boy very, very much - even more than she loved herself." ~Shel Silverstein The Giving Tree

Caleb was home last weekend, and it was much like it has been since he began college.  We had a productive weekend of traveling to Irving to help him find an apartment, as he prepares to graduate from Texas A&M University, and begin his first job with AMN Healthcare.  We walked his dog, caught up on the latest news, and (as we always do when Caleb is home) we laughed.  A lot.  But this visit was different, even if no one noticed but me.

Four years ago, Caleb left home to attend college.  That was an adjustment for all of us, but one we easily embraced - he joined his sisters in College Station, and although I missed him, I always knew that this was home.  He would be back for extended stays - summers, winter breaks, spring breaks.  Yes, he had a "home" in College Station, but it was always temporary.  THIS was home for him.  Until now.

Signing the lease agreement for his apartment - no cosigner needed!

Sunday night as Caleb put the finishing touches on the last project of his college career in our living room floor, I bent down to kiss his bearded cheek goodnight.  And when I did, I made a conscious effort to take it in - the feel, the smell, the sound of it all.  I've kissed that cheek at least a million times before.  At first, it was a pudgy little baby cheek, that smelled so sweet, and I couldn't get enough of!  Eventually, it grew into a usually dirty, sometimes smelly, and occasionally scraped up cheek of a growing boy.  I went from holding the owner of that cheek, to having him wriggle sitting beside me, to sometimes chasing him down to kiss it.  My posture changed from leaning down to stretching up to reach that cheek when he's standing - all 6 feet, 2 inches of him.  But as I kissed that familiar cheek Sunday night, I knew that although there will be other "goodnight kisses," they will be given when he visits, or when I visit him.  Soon he will have a new home.  A new permanent address.

And those hands.  Sunday evening in worship, as I stood beside him and we bowed our heads for the closing prayer, he reached and took my hand.  As his large hand enveloped mine,  I remembered reaching down to take the small hand of a wiggly little boy - a hand that was once so small, it could only grasp a few of my fingers.

Then, on Monday morning he left to go back to College Station, as he's done numerous times over the past four years.  But in THIS parting, I hugged him a bit tighter, and a little longer, fully savoring that moment.  And my gaze lingered a little more as he drove his beloved "Clifford" (his big red truck) out of the driveway and disappeared down the street.  The next time he comes, he will be a college graduate with his own home in Irving - one he is paying for himself.  (I'm not feeling too sad about that last part!)

My boy has grown into a man.  There is great pride and satisfaction in that.  From the outset of this adventure called parenting, Jeff and I have raised our kids to leave.  Our goal has been to equip them to live in this world on their own.  To raise them to be self-sufficient.  Caleb is ready to do that, and this mom could not feel more blessed.

So at this time of reflection, thankfulness and celebration as a chapter of Caleb's life closes and a new one begins, I might feel a twinge of sadness.  But that is greatly overshadowed by the joy and excitement I feel as my son moves on into his young adult life.

Caleb.  We chose that name for a reason.  In Numbers 14:24, God describes the biblical Caleb this way... "But my servant, Caleb, because he has a different spirit in him, and has followed me fully..."  That has been my prayer for our Caleb for the past 22 years - that he will have a different spirit, and follow God fully.  And while I am proud of the young man who has earned his Bachelor's degree in Communication; the tall, brown-eyed Caleb who never meets a stranger, seeks to serve others, and enjoys life to the fullest; I am most proud to know that my son "follows God fully."  He is living up to his name.  As his mother, I can ask for nothing more.

So, next week when I watch him cross that stage, and I leave College Station knowing that my recently graduated son will be moving to his new home the next day, I will smile and be thankful.  And I will look forward to his visits to our home in the future.  Because as much as life is changing, one thing will always remain the same - the roots my children have here, the memories that fill our home which bind us, and the deep love our growing family shares.

Congratulations, Bud!  No mom has ever been more blessed than me.  Stay strong, serve God, and enjoy your new home.  Oh, and one more thing - please don't try kayaking in those canals in Los Colinas, no matter how great the temptation might be.  Trust me on this one . . . ;)

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.  One is roots, the other is wings."  ~Henry Ward Beecher