"It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother — that's why the world calls her grandmother." ~Author Unknown

January 31st was a special day.  Of course, any day that finds the five people I love most in this world in the same place is special, but on this particular day, we had all gathered to celebrate Caleb's birthday a few days early - a fun birthday celebration for an exceptional boy!  However, as we gathered that day from four different locations, I had no idea just how distinctly memorable that day was about to become!

We met up at Caleb's apartment, and from there we went to watch a young friend play in a high school soccer game.  After that, we went out to eat lunch.  As always, the conversation flowed, laughter and warmth were palpable, and it was so good to share this time and space with my precious family!

After lunch, we went to Caleb's apartment to share our gifts with him.  I sat next to Caleb on the couch as Sarah handed him a gift bag from her and Ryan, with the instruction to open it last.  So, when the time came, Caleb took that last gift, reached into the bag, and pulled out a mug.  As he silently read the words written on it, his mouth dropped open, and he began to scream (as only Caleb can).  Since I was sitting beside him, I saw it next - the words on the mug simply said, "UNCLE CALEB - <3 Baby Renz"  And instantly, I knew.  It didn't take long for everyone else to figure it out, and the next few minutes were a blur of screams and tears and hugs and more tears, (with Caleb's roommate, Cody, watching us all from the couch, thinking we were crazy!) as our family rejoiced over the news that in late September, a new little life will enter this world - Baby Renz.

Jeff and I got mugs, too - Sarah put "Grandpa" & "Grandma" on them, because she didn't know at that point what the baby will call us - we have since decided on "Pappy" and "Mimi."

Just two days after we received this joyous news, Sarah and Ryan visited her obstetrician, and I received this via text message . . . The first picture of my first grandchild . . . and my tears flowed again.  (With twins on both sides of the family, I think Sarah was crying tears of relief that there is only ONE baby in there!)

And now - FINALLY - after more than five LONG weeks of secrecy, we've been given permission to share the wonderful news that in late September, Ryan and Sarah are having a baby!  As I write this, Baby Renz is about the size of a fig, and almost fully formed.  According to babycenter.com, this little one's hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under the gums, and some of the bones are beginning to harden.  Baby Renz is already busy kicking and stretching. Truly, this child is "fearfully and wonderfully made."  And loved.  So very much loved...

I've written here before about the love of a mother for a child, and how every mother knows what an overwhelming and indescribable love that truly is.  And I've heard so many people say, "Wait until you have grandchildren!"  I'm just now beginning to grasp a small inkling of what they mean. 

My oldest baby is having a baby.  She now knows by experience exactly how I felt when I first saw the plus sign on that stick, and the unspeakable joy (and fear) the first time I saw her little heartbeat on an ultrasound image.  And soon she'll know - really know - how it feels to sense your baby move inside of you; how overwhelmingly indescribable it is to hold your baby for the first time; how you can love that little person so much that it literally hurts; and how it will change her life forever, as her heart will soon be walking around outside of her body in the form of this child.  I am so excited for her to have those ineffable realities, and to finally know by experience just how deeply and passionately I love her - - because she will have that same love for her child.  She already does.

So to this yet unnamed child, I will simply say you are so loved and blessed already!  You will be born into a home where God is honored first.  You have a daddy who loves and cherishes your mommy, and who will train, teach, and lead you to know your Heavenly Father.  You also have a mommy who loves your daddy, and who will be committed to doing the very best for you in every area of life - she's already given up coffee for you!  She will nurture, love, and teach you daily as you grow to love God, and to serve others, and I'm also quite sure that she will teach you two languages simultaneously.  I have no doubt that you will have the best parents ever.  And you are also already loved so much by your extended family on both sides - the "first" on our side!  The reaction of each of us to the news of a new baby in our family spoke volumes of the love of these people - my family - for each other, and for you!  And on the Renz side, you will be welcomed by loving and experienced grandparents, an aunt and uncle who know all about babies, and four fun cousins to play with.  How blessed you are!

I sustain many relationships in this life that I hold dear.  It is a blessing to be a child of God, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, and a friend - I treasure each and every one of those relationships more than words can say.  But now, . . . NOW - I get to be a Mimi.  Even typing that word makes me smile.  I better get busy on that blanket I am cross-stitching - September will be here before you know it - - and it can't come soon enough!

The circle of life . . .
Rocking and singing to Sarah - January 1991

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies". ~Rudy Giuliani

"Men are never duly touched and impressed with a conviction of their insignificance, until they have contrasted themselves with the majesty of God." ~R.C. Sproul

I talked to Jeff this morning.  It was Friday at 10:00 a.m. here in little Whitehouse, Texas, and my day was just beginning.  But he's already lived most of his Friday - it was 9:30 pm where he is in India, and he was wrapping up his day, preparing for bed.  Thinking about that staggers my mind.  It gives a tangibility to the great size of this world we live in.  Jeff is on the other side of the world, and that seems very, VERY far away.

But as BIG as this earth feels to me right now, consider this . . . you can go to this website (disregarding the evolutionary commentary) and see visual comparisons of the relative smallness of this planet on which we live to the rest of the universe.  Seeing things like that makes me realize how small I am in the big scheme of things.

Not only does the relatively small size of the earth cause me to feel a bit insignificant, but think about the magnificent number of people on this planet.  By most estimates, I am one of over seven billion people in this world.  To help give some perspective on how BIG seven billion really is, if I decided to count aloud every number between six billion and seven billion, it would take me 30 years!  Also, if you have a thimble that holds two milliliters of water, seven billion of those would fill at least five Olympic size swimming pools.  That number is staggering, and it makes me feel small.  It also makes those people who glory in having thousands of Facebook friends seem not quite so popular after all!

But, guess what?  No matter how small I may feel in relation to the universe, the God who created and sustains it all knows my name!  When Moses interceded for the Israelites after they had fallen into idolatry, God told Moses in Exodus 33:17, "...for you have found favor in My sight and I have known you by name."  That concept continues throughout the Bible.  Nahum 1:7 says, "The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him."  Psalm 139 gives great assurance that God knows and sees everything about my life - He even "formed my inward parts" as He "knitted me together in my mother's womb."  As Jesus described His relationship with us as the good Shepherd in John 10, He said, "I know my own..."  What a marvelous thought!

Last night in our ladies' Bible study, we talked about the sin of pride, and how we need to reach a "spiritual equilibrium" as we consider ourselves in relation to God and this world.  As I look at the world - the expanse of the universe, and the billions of people who dwell here - I see myself as small, finite, dependent, limited in intelligence and ability, prone to sin, and soon to die and face God's judgment (Heb. 9:27).  However, I am also God's child - I was created by Him, am loved and redeemed by His grace, and I have been gifted by Him with certain unique abilities, resources, and advantages, which are to be used for His glory.

So when I am feeling far removed from the one I love most in this world, or those times I might be feeling small and insignificant, I will remember this - God is my Father.  I am His child.  He knows my name.

"God loves each of us as if there were only one of us." ~St. Augustine