“Don't judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins.” ~Sharon Creech, Walk Two Moons

As our children were growing up, we read books out loud to them every night at bedtime.  We covered a wide range of works, from the Little House series, to the Chronicles of Narnia, and other classics like Winnie the Pooh, and Charlotte's Web.  I always enjoyed these readings, especially the underlying life messages in these books that are often lost on children.

One of the books we read which had the greatest impact on me was "Walk Two Moons" by Sharon Creech.  I've recently begun to re-read this Newberry Medal winner.  Several quotes occur in the novel which have profound meaning - things like, "Everyone has their own agenda;"  "In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?"  "You can't keep the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can keep them from nesting in your hair;"  and "We never know the worth of water until the well is dry."  But perhaps the most important quote in the book is its title:

"Never judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins."

While reading the book through the first time with our girls, I did just that with one of the main characters - I judged.  Even while reading that phrase repeatedly in the book, I was quite certain I would NEVER do what Sal's mother had done.  Then I got to the end of the book, and realized that I had judged wrongly.  Why?  Because I didn't have ALL of the facts.  I didn't know the details.  I had not walked in her moccasins.  And all of that led me to view Sal's mother in a way that was wrong, and a great injustice to her.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I recently saw this video in a friend's Facebook post which further reinforces the problem which I believe we all struggle with to some degree:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfeXxkbgCVE

We see others, and we judge.  We might look at the way they handle a trial in their lives - something we've never gone through ourselves - and we think of all kinds of reasons why WE think they aren't handling it well.  We can list the things they should do to deal with it better - and we don't understand why they do (or don't do) certain things they way they do.  We might even offer advice, thinking we are "helping" them.  Even though we've never "walked in their moccasins."

We are also sometimes quick to judge the attitudes and motives of others, even when we don't know what is going on in their lives.  Like the video shows, everyone is dealing with something.  Maybe that clerk in the store was rude to me because they have just lost someone close to them.  Or maybe the quiet person who we view as "unfriendly" is dealing with a disease we know nothing about - they may not be "snobbish" at all.  In fact, they might just need someone to reach out to them in a loving way.

I think we've all probably been on both ends of this spectrum - Perhaps you are dealing with something difficult, and no one really understands because they haven't been where you are.  Or maybe you are looking at someone else and assigning motives that simply aren't accurate, because you don't know the details of their heartache.  In both cases, we need to be patient and understanding.

Henri Nouwen wrote, "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

I hope you have you have a friend like that.  I am blessed with several.  But more importantly, I hope we can all strive a little harder to BE a friend like that.  And I hope today that we will make it our goal to be a little kinder, a little sweeter, and a little more gentle with others whose pain we might not understand or even know.