We embarked on this new college journey nearly four years ago, and I still vividly remember how I felt as Jeff, Caleb and I descended the stairs at the girls' new apartment that hot August afternoon in 2009, got into our car, and headed back home without them - empty. I kept telling myself they were ready, that this was the way it is supposed to be, and that it was good that they had each other. But I still couldn't help but feel a certain sadness. I knew this would begin a new chapter in our lives, and that the last chapter entitled, "Our Girls' Life Under Our Roof" was forever ended. And just like the yet un-turned pages in any book, this new chapter of "Mother of College Students" was full of unknowns. I heard comments from well-meaning friends, who said things like, "It will never be the same," or "They will never come home again." And while there is some truth in both of those statements, overall I tend to disagree. It's not the same, but it's not any worse - it's just different. And even though they don't come home every day, they DO come home, and we enjoy those times immensely.
As I look back over the chapters of the past four years, I see things that I fully expected did indeed come to fruition - like BIG tuition bills, new friendships, spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and that continued "fraying" of the kite string that I wrote about in 2009. But I also see those unexpected plot twists I didn't quite anticipate - things such as car accidents (one involving a pedestrian - if you haven't heard that story, ask Becca sometime - it's quite a memory!), sickness (some quite serious), broken hearts, a summer for Sarah spent in Costa Rica, middle-of-the-night phone calls, a duck blocking the front door (ask Sarah about that one), and the girls living in different cities during their last semester of college due to Becca's internship.
I could write volumes about each of our girls (and our boy as well), all of the wonderful attributes they possess, as well as their quirks and weaknesses. I could also write forever about all of the things I have experienced as their mother these past four years - it would make for quite a novel! But, I can sum it all up in a few sentences without going into great detail. What I have learned during these college years is something that Sarah Strohmeyer succinctly wrote when she said, “A mother is a mother from the moment her baby is first placed in her arms until eternity. It didn't matter if her child were three, thirteen, or thirty.” This mothering thing doesn't ever end - it just changes. When our girls were babies, I remember thinking that it would be so much easier to be a mom when they were grown, but experience has taught me otherwise. In a lot of ways, it becomes more difficult. But one thing's for sure - I would not trade my role as Mother of Sarah, Rebecca and Caleb for anything in this world. Although I am admittedly biased, they are three of the finest Christian young people I have ever known. They are not perfect, but they love the Lord, have each developed their own faith and their own individual relationships with Him, and they are a blessing to all who are privileged to know them. And because of them, I am blessed with having other young Christians in my life - friends of my children - who also have a passion for serving our God. What an encouragement!
Back in 2009 when I wrote about the girls' impending departure to College Station, I ended that with a quote from Erma Bombeck. About raising children she wrote, " “You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust and teach them. Finally they are airborne... They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar as it is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know that you did your job." Four years ago I wrote that they weren't ready to snap the lifeline; however, the fraying process had begun. But now, that lifeline is about to snap. They are ready. I have no doubt they will indeed soar. And while the "College Life" chapter for them is about to end, my reality of being the mother of a college student will continue for a few more years, thanks to our boy - that makes me smile!
And so, we look to the future, where the story of the lives of our girls will take on more individual volumes, as Sarah will soon become Mrs. Renz, move to Houston, become a teacher, and begin her next chapter there. Likewise, Rebecca's story will take her fully into the adult world as a health educator in as yet an undetermined location, where she will have a lasting influence in improving the lives of children. Such new and exciting times for both of them! But, even with all of the changes, one thing is certain - I will always be their mother, their greatest fan, and their fiercest advocate. As long as God gives me breath, I will be there at a moment's notice when they need me, and will always be just a phone call away for both of them. And I will always feel the way I have felt since the early morning hours of September 21, 1990, when I held them for the first time - - overwhelmingly unworthy, but so grateful to God for the blessings they are in my life, as well as awe-struck and humbled that I was chosen to be their mother. God truly gave me the best.
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