While doing my daily Bible reading last week, I perused 1 Kings chapter 1, where we have the account of David's failing health, and the beginning of Solomon's rule. But before Solomon began to rule, his brother Adonijah attempted a coup, and set himself up as king. His "rule" didn't last long - once Bathsheba and Nathan got wind of what was going on, they informed King David, and he quickly took care of the matter. Adonijah initially received mercy from Solomon by submitting to him, but that reprieve was short-lived. In Chapter 2, Adonijah requested to be given Abishag as a wife. Solomon viewed this as a conspiratorial move, and he had Adonijah executed.
As I read this inspired historical narrative, 1 Kings 1:6 jumped off the page at me, where the writer inserted a parenthetical statement about Adonijah that reads: "His father had never interfered with him by asking, 'Why do you behave as you do?'" Other versions say his father never "rebuked" or "displeased" him. The inspired word basically tells us that throughout Adonijah's life, David never took an opportunity to correct, discipline, or train him when he saw something amiss. I think David must have initially had good intentions of raising Adonijah according to the will of God, as evidenced by the name he gave to him - Adonijah literally means, "Yahweh is my Master." But at some point, David became lax in his instruction, and according to this verse under consideration, it must have been early in his son's life, since it states David "never" interfered...
Throughout the Bible, we are reminded of how important it is for parents to teach their children to serve and honor God. As Moses was giving final instructions to the Israelites as they prepared to cross into the Promised Land, he tells them in Deuteronomy 6 to remember the words he had given them and to "teach them diligently to your children ... when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Somewhere along the way, David failed in that. Not only David, but before him, a whole generation of Israelites. By the time we get to Judges 2, we read, "And there arose a generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that He had done for Israel." Why? Because parents failed to teach their children. The remainder of the Old Testament shows us what happened to God's people as a result. And it was tragic.
We have a similar instruction given to us in the New Testament. Paul wrote to the Ephesians that fathers are to bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord. So how are we doing as God's people in this generation in fulfilling our responsibilities before God as parents? Are we raising a "generation that does not know the Lord?"
As I look around today, I see many Christian parents who are working hard, day in and day out, to teach their children about God. They prayerfully and diligently strive to impart a love for God, and a knowledge of His word in the hearts of their little ones. Their primary focus in life is to make sure they equip their children to serve God. They fulfill the command that Moses gave the Israelites so long ago, as they use every opportunity throughout each day to incorporate teaching about God and His word into the fabric of their children's lives. When faced with tough choices over the things of the world or spiritual things, they strive to keep their priorities according to God's will, and they always put the spiritual first. What an encouraging thing to see!
However, I also see some parents who are not doing this. In the younger Bible classes, their children come to class without any preparation. Those same children sometimes appear bored in class, and seem more interested in discussing the latest video game than in learning about the crucified Christ. They are given every material advantage in life, and their parents make sure they attend most of the Bible classes each week, but the emphasis in their homes is obviously on the material. These are the children who often miss Bible class or the worship assembly because they have something more "important" to do, such as play baseball, attend a concert, or go to a sleepover. And while parents might tell their children that God comes first, actions always speak louder than words. I've seen it firsthand, and it scares me. These children grow to their teenage years, and enter a high school Bible class unable to do simple tasks such as look up an Old Testament passage without using their index. And while that may seem to some to be a minor thing, it speaks to the place God and His word have had in their lives and in their homes. I dare say that these same young folks who cannot look up a passage of Scripture, much less quote one, are able to quote lyrics to their favorite popular songs, list the most recent baseball stats, or tell you details of their favorite celebrity's life without hesitation. Parents, what are we doing? What are we thinking? What are we allowing Satan to do in our homes?
Last week, we went to a visitation at the funeral home for a 20 year old young man who died on Mother's Day of a drug overdose. When we first hear things like that, we immediately tend to think the worst - he had a bad home life, perhaps his father was not there, or he had no parental guidance. None of those things were true of this young man. We had known him and his family since he was 5 years old. He had two loving parents, who were involved in his life. They participated in Boy Scouts, soccer, basketball, and band. When this boy first got in with the "wrong crowd" in high school, his parents did everything they could to get help for him. He seemed to be doing better, but on the Saturday night prior to Mother's Day, he was faced with a situation to use drugs again, and he made the wrong choice. It cost him his life. The saddest thing to me about the entire situation was that when we went into the funeral home that evening, rock music was playing. His mother told me that they were having a simple graveside service the next day, and they had asked a former high school teacher of their son's to say a few words, because they "didn't really know a preacher." He and his parents had visited in one of our worship assemblies on a Sunday evening several years ago, but spiritual things were just not important to them. With all of the love this young man had received in his life, and the involvement of two very committed parents, the ingredient that was missing in his life was God. How tragic.
Yes, there will be children who grow up in homes where God is honored, and where He is always put first in everything, who will choose to serve self, and will rebel against God. And there will be a few people who grow up in homes where God is not honored, who will become humble, dedicated Christians as adults. But those are the exceptions.
What do you want for your children? Do you want them to have every advantage in this life, or do you want them to spend eternity in heaven with God? Sometimes the choices will be tough. And sometimes we will make mistakes. But may it never be said of you or me as a parent what is recorded of David in 1 Kings 1:6. Let's strive with every fiber of our being to raise a generation who serves the Lord with fervor. Let's learn from the mistakes of the Israelites, and of David, so that it will not be said of our children that they are a generation "who knows not God."
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
"I am first and foremost me, but right after that, I am a mother. The best thing that I can ever be, is me. But the best gift that I will ever have, is being a mother.” ~C. JoyBell C.
This weekend Jeff and I will travel to College Station to attend graduation at Texas A&M University, as we watch our girls cross the stage to receive Bachelor of Science degrees - Sarah in Bilingual Elementary Education, and Becca in Community Health Education. I'm trying to figure out where the past four years have gone . . . or where the past twenty-two years have gone, for that matter!
We embarked on this new college journey nearly four years ago, and I still vividly remember how I felt as Jeff, Caleb and I descended the stairs at the girls' new apartment that hot August afternoon in 2009, got into our car, and headed back home without them - empty. I kept telling myself they were ready, that this was the way it is supposed to be, and that it was good that they had each other. But I still couldn't help but feel a certain sadness. I knew this would begin a new chapter in our lives, and that the last chapter entitled, "Our Girls' Life Under Our Roof" was forever ended. And just like the yet un-turned pages in any book, this new chapter of "Mother of College Students" was full of unknowns. I heard comments from well-meaning friends, who said things like, "It will never be the same," or "They will never come home again." And while there is some truth in both of those statements, overall I tend to disagree. It's not the same, but it's not any worse - it's just different. And even though they don't come home every day, they DO come home, and we enjoy those times immensely.
As I look back over the chapters of the past four years, I see things that I fully expected did indeed come to fruition - like BIG tuition bills, new friendships, spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and that continued "fraying" of the kite string that I wrote about in 2009. But I also see those unexpected plot twists I didn't quite anticipate - things such as car accidents (one involving a pedestrian - if you haven't heard that story, ask Becca sometime - it's quite a memory!), sickness (some quite serious), broken hearts, a summer for Sarah spent in Costa Rica, middle-of-the-night phone calls, a duck blocking the front door (ask Sarah about that one), and the girls living in different cities during their last semester of college due to Becca's internship.
I could write volumes about each of our girls (and our boy as well), all of the wonderful attributes they possess, as well as their quirks and weaknesses. I could also write forever about all of the things I have experienced as their mother these past four years - it would make for quite a novel! But, I can sum it all up in a few sentences without going into great detail. What I have learned during these college years is something that Sarah Strohmeyer succinctly wrote when she said, “A mother is a mother from the moment her baby is first placed in her arms until eternity. It didn't matter if her child were three, thirteen, or thirty.” This mothering thing doesn't ever end - it just changes. When our girls were babies, I remember thinking that it would be so much easier to be a mom when they were grown, but experience has taught me otherwise. In a lot of ways, it becomes more difficult. But one thing's for sure - I would not trade my role as Mother of Sarah, Rebecca and Caleb for anything in this world. Although I am admittedly biased, they are three of the finest Christian young people I have ever known. They are not perfect, but they love the Lord, have each developed their own faith and their own individual relationships with Him, and they are a blessing to all who are privileged to know them. And because of them, I am blessed with having other young Christians in my life - friends of my children - who also have a passion for serving our God. What an encouragement!
Back in 2009 when I wrote about the girls' impending departure to College Station, I ended that with a quote from Erma Bombeck. About raising children she wrote, " “You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust and teach them. Finally they are airborne... They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar as it is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know that you did your job." Four years ago I wrote that they weren't ready to snap the lifeline; however, the fraying process had begun. But now, that lifeline is about to snap. They are ready. I have no doubt they will indeed soar. And while the "College Life" chapter for them is about to end, my reality of being the mother of a college student will continue for a few more years, thanks to our boy - that makes me smile!
And so, we look to the future, where the story of the lives of our girls will take on more individual volumes, as Sarah will soon become Mrs. Renz, move to Houston, become a teacher, and begin her next chapter there. Likewise, Rebecca's story will take her fully into the adult world as a health educator in as yet an undetermined location, where she will have a lasting influence in improving the lives of children. Such new and exciting times for both of them! But, even with all of the changes, one thing is certain - I will always be their mother, their greatest fan, and their fiercest advocate. As long as God gives me breath, I will be there at a moment's notice when they need me, and will always be just a phone call away for both of them. And I will always feel the way I have felt since the early morning hours of September 21, 1990, when I held them for the first time - - overwhelmingly unworthy, but so grateful to God for the blessings they are in my life, as well as awe-struck and humbled that I was chosen to be their mother. God truly gave me the best.
We embarked on this new college journey nearly four years ago, and I still vividly remember how I felt as Jeff, Caleb and I descended the stairs at the girls' new apartment that hot August afternoon in 2009, got into our car, and headed back home without them - empty. I kept telling myself they were ready, that this was the way it is supposed to be, and that it was good that they had each other. But I still couldn't help but feel a certain sadness. I knew this would begin a new chapter in our lives, and that the last chapter entitled, "Our Girls' Life Under Our Roof" was forever ended. And just like the yet un-turned pages in any book, this new chapter of "Mother of College Students" was full of unknowns. I heard comments from well-meaning friends, who said things like, "It will never be the same," or "They will never come home again." And while there is some truth in both of those statements, overall I tend to disagree. It's not the same, but it's not any worse - it's just different. And even though they don't come home every day, they DO come home, and we enjoy those times immensely.
As I look back over the chapters of the past four years, I see things that I fully expected did indeed come to fruition - like BIG tuition bills, new friendships, spiritual growth, emotional maturity, and that continued "fraying" of the kite string that I wrote about in 2009. But I also see those unexpected plot twists I didn't quite anticipate - things such as car accidents (one involving a pedestrian - if you haven't heard that story, ask Becca sometime - it's quite a memory!), sickness (some quite serious), broken hearts, a summer for Sarah spent in Costa Rica, middle-of-the-night phone calls, a duck blocking the front door (ask Sarah about that one), and the girls living in different cities during their last semester of college due to Becca's internship.
I could write volumes about each of our girls (and our boy as well), all of the wonderful attributes they possess, as well as their quirks and weaknesses. I could also write forever about all of the things I have experienced as their mother these past four years - it would make for quite a novel! But, I can sum it all up in a few sentences without going into great detail. What I have learned during these college years is something that Sarah Strohmeyer succinctly wrote when she said, “A mother is a mother from the moment her baby is first placed in her arms until eternity. It didn't matter if her child were three, thirteen, or thirty.” This mothering thing doesn't ever end - it just changes. When our girls were babies, I remember thinking that it would be so much easier to be a mom when they were grown, but experience has taught me otherwise. In a lot of ways, it becomes more difficult. But one thing's for sure - I would not trade my role as Mother of Sarah, Rebecca and Caleb for anything in this world. Although I am admittedly biased, they are three of the finest Christian young people I have ever known. They are not perfect, but they love the Lord, have each developed their own faith and their own individual relationships with Him, and they are a blessing to all who are privileged to know them. And because of them, I am blessed with having other young Christians in my life - friends of my children - who also have a passion for serving our God. What an encouragement!
Back in 2009 when I wrote about the girls' impending departure to College Station, I ended that with a quote from Erma Bombeck. About raising children she wrote, " “You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust and teach them. Finally they are airborne... They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar as it is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know that you did your job." Four years ago I wrote that they weren't ready to snap the lifeline; however, the fraying process had begun. But now, that lifeline is about to snap. They are ready. I have no doubt they will indeed soar. And while the "College Life" chapter for them is about to end, my reality of being the mother of a college student will continue for a few more years, thanks to our boy - that makes me smile!
And so, we look to the future, where the story of the lives of our girls will take on more individual volumes, as Sarah will soon become Mrs. Renz, move to Houston, become a teacher, and begin her next chapter there. Likewise, Rebecca's story will take her fully into the adult world as a health educator in as yet an undetermined location, where she will have a lasting influence in improving the lives of children. Such new and exciting times for both of them! But, even with all of the changes, one thing is certain - I will always be their mother, their greatest fan, and their fiercest advocate. As long as God gives me breath, I will be there at a moment's notice when they need me, and will always be just a phone call away for both of them. And I will always feel the way I have felt since the early morning hours of September 21, 1990, when I held them for the first time - - overwhelmingly unworthy, but so grateful to God for the blessings they are in my life, as well as awe-struck and humbled that I was chosen to be their mother. God truly gave me the best.
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