“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.” ~Mikko Harvey

 "Love you, sister! Thanks for coming!" Those were the last words she said to me as we hugged and Jeff and I hurriedly departed from her grandson's wedding on the last day of September. We had a long drive home, and we left before the bride and groom. I now wish we'd stayed just a little bit longer.

Luann was my sister-in-law - Jeff's older sister by less than two years. I first met her after we got engaged in the summer of 1987. Jeff took me to Austin to meet his family and see his roots. At that time, Luann was in her mid-20's, busy with two little ones. She made me feel welcomed from the start, and her bubbly, outgoing personality quickly drew me in. 

At our wedding, Jeff and I were pronounced "husband and wife" by Luann's husband, Dave, and as we walked back up the aisle and entered the foyer of our wedding venue, there was Luann quieting her one-year-old daughter, Katie. She quickly approached, hugged me before hugging her brother, and said, "Welcome to the family!" 

Do you notice the recurring theme of hugging? Luann gave the best hugs - the full-frontal, grab-with- both-arms, tuck you in kind of hugs, like you were being gathered in close on purpose. 

Luann's life was not without challenges. In her 20's she suffered kidney failure while pregnant with her 3rd child. She lost that baby while I was pregnant with twins. I remember driving to Austin to visit her in the hospital and the trepidation I felt about entering her hospital room with my prominent pregnant belly when she was grieving such a tremendous loss. As usual, Luann immediately put me at ease, expressing both concern and excitement over her twin nieces to come. If she could've hopped up out of the hospital bed and given me a hug, that's exactly what she would've done.  She would have a kidney transplant a few months later, and lived each day after that with the recognition that life here is a blessing from God - she lived hers to the fullest.

The day before Luann's transplant surgery, enjoying her twin nieces

Luann loved the Lord, and she loved her family. In recent years when we spent time together, our conversations were always about our children and grandchildren. She loved each one of hers fiercely. But her love didn't stop there - she loved her extended family with the same ferocity. Through the years she made an effort to be involved with my children, making sure she attended all three weddings - not an easy task due to the distance she and Dave had to travel for each one. She was excited that Caleb was settling in Lubbock, knowing that she and Dave would soon be relocating to West Texas. 

They did relocate to Merkel near Abilene, and she loved it there. When Truman was born, she told me she would come to Lubbock and visit while I was there, but with the move and settling in, it just didn't happen. I now wish it had. And on the other side of that, Jeff and I talked about Dave and Luann when we drove home from Lubbock after Truman's birth and saw the sign for Merkel... but we had just driven through a horrendous dust storm that slowed us down significantly, and we needed to get home. I now wish we had stopped. 

Luann suddenly and unexpectedly left this world for her eternal home yesterday morning. She leaves behind many who loved her deeply, including me. As I learned of her passing and thought about my last few visits with her, I couldn't help but think about some of the things I've expressed here - I wish I had stayed a little longer. 

The reality is we all do that - hurry through life, give a quick hug, turn and leave, thinking all the while, "We'll stop next time," or "We'll stay longer when..." Facing her own mortality at a very young age, I think Luann understood that better than most, and lived her life with a James 4:14 view... "you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." That's why she gave the best hugs. I'm thankful for her influence in my life, and I was so blessed to be loved by her. As I move forward in life without the best sister-in-law, I will try to hug a little more like she did, stay a little longer, send the text message, make the phone call, and stop for the visit.  And each time I do, I will remember her.

"She loved them so much that she felt a kind of hollowness on the inner surface of her arms whenever she looked at them—an ache of longing to pull them close and hold them tight against her." ~Anne Tyler.

I have years of practice at this Mimi thing - 9 1/2 to be exact - but the wonder of it never wears off. In fact, each grandbaby adds a new chapter to the story I love telling most. Chapter 7 arrived in the last hour of my 59th birthday, on the night of a blood moon, with an intense West Texas dust storm brewing that would pack a harsh punch early the next day - the day I met my 7th grandchild - grandson #4.

Pappy and I traveled the 7-hour journey from our home to Lubbock, arriving late in the afternoon as Julie was in the early stages of labor.  We dropped off some dinner for the daddy-to-be, getting a quick hug and update from him. I told him to be sure to let us know when Truman arrived - even if it was the middle of the night. 

Much later - in the quiet darkness of our hotel room - my phone lit up with the greatly-anticipated text. Truman was here, Julie was well, and the new little family was sharing those first sweet moments of newness and wonder. 

In the quiet of the night, unable to go back to sleep, I thanked God for answered prayers of a healthy baby and mama. As I laid there, my mind turned back to another baby boy who was born 32 years and one month prior, weighing close to the same as Truman, and possessing the same thick, dark hair and dark eyes. My baby boy who was now a daddy. 

The next day, in 80-mph winds of thick dust, we made our way to the hospital. Caleb met us in the lobby and escorted us into the room, where my smiling daughter-in-law was holding her sweet baby boy. As she handed him to me and I studied his fresh little face with Caleb looking on, I was overwhelmed by this new little blessing.

Our first meeting was brief, but Pappy and I were able to return to Lubbock a week later. Pappy was only able to stay a few days, but I stayed for a week, and it was the sweetest of weeks! My main job was helper - I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and ran errands. But my favorite task while there was holding precious Baby Truman. And we got some very sweet cuddle time! 

Every morning around 5 am, the bleary-eyed new daddy would bring a very wide-awake Truman to Mimi, and I treasured every moment of those early morning one-on-one times we had together.  I took in every feature of his face, inhaled the scent of him, felt his soft skin, and listened intently to each sweet breath, coo, and gurgle, trying to memorize it all.

When the week came to an end, it was hard to leave knowing that 400 miles is a long way, and he will change so much before I can hold him again. But I've learned something about this wonderful relationship of grandparenthood over the past 9 years from the four who call me Mimi and live 533 miles in the other direction - I've learned that it will be ok. I will always feel the "hollowness on the inner surface of my arms" and "the ache of longing" described so well by Anne Tyler whenever I look at them from afar. The daily text photos and weekly FaceTime calls can be bittersweet in that way. But how very special are those times I am able to share physical space with them - something that is always greatly anticipated with days counted down for and every moment of togetherness treasured and stored up to last until the next time. I'm thankful for my thoughtful daughter who makes a concerted effort to FaceTime with the children weekly and for my sweet daughter-in-law who is following the same pattern. And I love that two of my precious little ones live less than an hour away and I get to spend time with them so often - just last week we went to the zoo together, and I got to spend the whole day with them yesterday while their mommy worked. Noah and Lyla help soothe the ache I feel for the others.

As I reflect on each one of my grandchildren with their unique personalities, I'm overwhelmed by the deep joy that comes from being surrounded by so much love and innocence. As Charles Dickens wrote, "I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us." Not a slight thing, indeed. With every grandchild, I’m reminded that love multiplies, never divides—seven times over, I’ve fallen in love all over again. Though miles may separate us at times, love keeps us close in the ways that matter most. Yes, my arms may sometimes ache with longing, but my heart is full - overflowing with gratitude for this ever growing circle of little lives I get to pour into and be loved by in return. What an extraordinary blessing it is to be their Mimi. Only 53 more days until we are all together again!