"Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” ~Debra Ginsberg

It happened several weeks ago as I was driving.  My phone pinged three different times.  I pulled into my destination parking lot, killed the engine, and looked at my phone.  I had three messages - one from each child.  And in that one moment, as I read each one, I simultaneously felt sorrow that brought tears, joy that made me laugh, and pride which made me rejoice.  I sat there thinking, "This is so weird!" How could I possibly feel all of that at the same time?

Three different children - who, by the way, aren't children anymore - in three different cities, three different settings, three different lives, experiencing three entirely different sets of circumstances, and within a few minutes of each other, they coincidentally happened to share those moments with me.

I've been at it for almost 29 years now, and it still amazes me - this journey of motherhood.  There's so much I did not know when I first began - so many things that no one can tell you.  Sure, I had observed others, read all the books I could get my hands on, and discussed parenting philosophies with my friends.  But until you actually experience it yourself, there's no way you can really get it.  What amazes me even more is with 29 years under my belt I'm still learning.

I remember the morning in the hospital when it was time to take our brand new baby girls home.  Jeff had gone to take care of some paperwork, and I was alone in the hospital room with these two tiny baby girls when it hit me - THEY were going home with ME.  And none of the nurses would be going with us.  I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility before me - not only to take care of their physical needs but to also provide all they would need to grow into responsible adults.  Even more sobering was the task before me to teach them to love God and to point their sweet, innocent souls toward heaven.

Lisa Wingate wrote, "Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands.  Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God.  Be a person in whom they can have faith.  When you are old, nothing else you've done will have mattered as much."  That last sentence is especially key for me - truly, nothing else I have done - or will ever do - matters nearly as much.

I try not to give advice unless it is solicited.  But as we are all more keenly aware of motherhood this weekend, I offer the quote above as a good guideline to those of you who are in the midst of the formative years of your children.  The soul that began inside of you - or inside of a birth mother who relinquished that responsibility to you - will live eternally.  Ultimately we are each responsible before God for our own choices, and even a child who has been given all of the love and godly direction possible can (and sometimes does) choose to forsake that teaching.  But how we as parents handle those precious souls in establishing priorities in our homes will greatly impact their future choices.  I want my children to always choose God, don't you?  There's nothing else in this world that matters more to me than seeing my children someday in heaven. 

Three kids, in three different cities, with three very distinct lives, experiencing three diverse circumstances simultaneously causing their mom to laugh, cry, and rejoice all at once.  How?  Because they each have a very big chunk of their mother's heart so closely entwined with theirs that I physically FEEL every emotion from every life circumstance that comes their way.  Sometimes that is wonderful and brings me so much joy!  And yes, other times my heart breaks and tears flow.  And the best part of it all for me is that they all three put God first in their lives and are spreading His light to everyone their lives touch. 

John wrote in 3 John 4, "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."  I think of that verse often.  Even amidst the sorrow and heartache that sometimes comes from events in their lives, and the regret I sometimes feel over things I think I could've done better, THAT joy and assurance override all other emotions.

So if you're a mom on this Mother's Day weekend, I hope you'll thank God for your children, and that we will all resolve to do our best to point our kids to Him.  And to Sarah, Becca, and Caleb - thank you for being who you are!  I am honored and humbled to be your mom, and I am so very proud of each one of you.  I'm overwhelmed that God chose ME to be YOUR mom - He truly gave me the best!