Even though we were exhausted from getting very little sleep, seeing the ground below gave us new energy! We gathered our things, exited the plane, worked our way through customs, retrieved our luggage, and made our way to the airport exit. We had pre-arranged to have a driver waiting for us there to take us to our hotel. So, when we got to a line of people holding signs, we looked for someone with one that said, "Stewart" on it . . . slowly the realization sunk in that our name wasn't there. Our driver was not waiting for us. I'm sure we appeared to be confused tourists as we looked at each sign. Jeff put down his bags, opened up his backpack, and pulled out a folder with contact information in it to try to call the company who had said they would be there to pick us up. As he fumbled through various papers and I continued to look for a sign saying "Stewart," a lady wearing a limo uniform holding a sign with an unfamiliar name approached us. She asked who was supposed to pick us up, immediately got on her phone to call the owner of a company she did not work for, made contact with our driver, and learned that he was running late. We thanked her, but instead of going back to her job of looking for the man she was waiting to pick up, she stayed with us, finding out where we were from, learning what our plans for the week included, and offering her advice on everything from driving in New Zealand to sites we should not miss. Our driver finally arrived, and as we collected our luggage to leave with him, we thanked our new friend as Jeff attempted to tip her. She refused our money, saying that she simply wanted to be sure that foreign visitors to New Zealand begin their vacation with a warm, welcoming experience.
Be kind.
I think we all heard this phrase many times growing up. Perhaps it was most often used by our parents as we learned to live with our siblings. Or maybe we heard it when we were tempted by our neighborhood pals to shun the new child on the block. Whatever the case, kindness is something we all grew up with.
The word "kind" when used as an adjective means "friendly, deliberately doing good to others." You can see the word "kin" there, and that is no accident - - originally the word meant "with the feeling of relatives for each other; with natural feeling; benign, compassionate, loving, full of tenderness."
Be kind.
We've all been on the receiving end of kindness, like Jeff and I experienced when we landed in New Zealand - experiences where there is seemingly nothing in it for the one showing kindness. Sometimes it's as simple as someone in the checkout line letting us go in front of them because we have fewer items. Other times it's a kind word, a smile, or a sweet compliment. And when we are on the receiving end of kindness, it makes us feel warm. Special. Loved. Even those seemingly small gestures . . . and sometimes especially those little things! We all know people who are good at spreading kindness. They seem to have an innate ability to always be kind.
What about me?
As a Christian, kindness is not an option. Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:32 that we are to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Of this word "kind" in this verse, the Pulpit Commentary defines it as, "sweet, amiable in disposition, subduing all that is harsh and hasty, encouraging all that is gentle and good." I like that idea - sweet, amiable in disposition, not harsh and hasty . . . all of which requires forethought.
When I see a pregnant woman with several children in tow, what do I say? Do I make it my mission to ask her if she knows what causes that? (Of course, she does.) Do I ask her if this pregnancy was planned? (Frankly, that is none of my business.) Do I comment about her size, maybe telling her she's as big as a house? (I'm sure she is already well aware of her size since mirrors tend to be everywhere.) Or do I simply say something like, "Look at those precious children - what a blessing!" Which of those responses is kind?
The same can be applied to a young lady who has been married for several years who has no children. Do I say something to her like, "When are you going to have a baby?" (Did you ever stop to consider that she might be struggling with infertility, or maybe she just had a miscarriage and no one outside of her family knew she was pregnant.) Or in that same vane, knowing someone who has had a miscarriage, do you say to them, "well, at least you know you can get pregnant!" How is that helpful? How is that kind?
The "kind or not" scenario happens repeatedly throughout each day as we interact with others, and it doesn't just apply to how we interact with women who are of childbearing age. When we utter a sharp or cutting word when it would be better to keep our mouths closed, we have been unkind. When we call into question someone's motive without taking the time to learn and examine the facts, we are not being kind.
In The Friendship Book of Francis Gay, Herbert Leslie Gee wrote this: "As the bus slowed down at a crowded bus stop, the Pakistani bus conductor leaned from the platform and called out, 'Six only!' The bus stopped. He counted on six passengers, rang the bell, and then, as the bus moved off, called to those left behind: 'So sorry, plenty of room in my heart — but the bus is full.' He left behind a row of smiling faces. It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it…" I love that.
Look for those who seem to be lost, and offer a helping hand. Think before you speak. Consider before you act. Get the facts. Put yourself in the place of other people. Be kind. As Og Mandino wrote, "Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."
And neither will theirs. Jeff and I will remember the kindness of that stranger from New Zealand in the airport that day as our first interaction with someone from that country, and how she got our trip off to a great start. What a great example to follow as we show similar kindnesses to strangers as well as loved ones each day, giving everyone we encounter a glimpse into what it means to be a citizen... not of New Zealand, or even the USA, but a citizen of the kingdom of God!
